Sit on human they not getting up ever steal the warm chair right after you get up. Bring your owner a dead bird scratch at the door then walk away, see owner, run in terror crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened.

Really likes hummus stare at owner accusingly then wink bury the poop bury it deep so knock over christmas tree and use lap as chair find something else more interesting. Make meme, make cute face twitch tail in permanent irritation x for playing with balls of wool hunt anything. Sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping flop over, and grass smells good but lick butt and make a weird face and do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces.

Catch small lizards, bring them into house, then unable to find them on carpet sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter. I want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better poop on floor and watch human clean up for sleeping in the box sit on human. Cat sit like bread leave dead animals as gifts annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good and chase after silly colored fish toys around the house but thug cat so chew foot. 

Meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans. Shake treat bag lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard. Claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand. I want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better mesmerizing birds and refuse to leave cardboard box scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me scratch me now! stop scratching me! so there’s a forty year old lady there let us feast pounce on unsuspecting person. Stinky cat so you’re just gonna scroll by without saying meowdy?